Don't like you're current phone? Do what I did!

So, it was about midnight last Tuesday. Both Eric and I had had a long day and we both fell asleep on the couch in our front room that evening. I woke up at about midnight because my head felt like it was permanently stuck to my left shoulder and my right hip had somehow migrated into my pelvis. I woke Eric up and went into the bathroom to get ready for bed. I brushed my teeth and then I sat down... yes, on the toilet. After evacuating my bladder I do what every other woman in this world does. I wiped myself and stood up, only when I stood up I heard a strange noise. It was kind of like a kur-plunk. When I looked down, there bobbed my cell phone! I had put my phone in my back pocket, which I normally don't do. (Oddly enough I was always afraid that it would fall out when I was using the restroom.) Disgusting as it was I reached down and plucked it out of the bowl. When I looked at the screen I saw nothing. I took out the battery, the sim card and my micro sd card, wiped everything down and let my phone sit over night. In the morning I replaced everything and turned it on. It was working!! However when I checked it five minutes later it had turned itself off. It now stays on for five seconds before shutting itself down. To tell you the truth, I never was in love with that phone. I got that one I did because there wasn't anything else that I liked. Eric knew that that phone was not my favorite and that I wanted something else eventually when we could upgrade or when we could renew our contract. He took this opportunity to accuse me of purposefully dropping my phone in the toilet so that I could get a new one! I DIDN'T DO IT ON PURPOSE!! However, I am getting a new phone... eventually. Anyway, to sum it all up... it's been a real pain in the butt, which is where this all started!